and... i'm back, kinda

these past few months have been...

draining.

that is about the best way to sum it all up.

mentally, emotionally, not so much physically, but at times it seemed like it.

the short of a long story is that, i have been planning an event for the owner of the company that i work for.

it was a long process, with only a few almost heart attacks along the way. but this past saturday (more specifically early sunday morning)  it all came to an end. one heck of a party hoppin' end.

so instead of going into much more detail of this process, i would much rather show you the fruit of my labor.

looking back i wish i had taken pictures while the party was going on, because let me tell you the millionaires of this great city of calgary sure know how to party. but then that moment passes, and i remember how much fun it was partying along with them. 

****

as much fun as i had, i am so glad that it is done. 

i am still getting used to not constantly thinking about it. worrying about what i have to do tomorrow, or the next day, week.. etc. 

but i am slowly getting used to what it feels like to have my brain back to me, slowly

i know it because...

... he lets me put my freezing cold feet on him at night to try and warm them up.

... he gives me kisses in the morning to help wake me up in the best mood possible.

... he sympathizes with me when i complain about how heavy the grocery bags are, even though we both know he is carrying all of the really heavy ones.

... he breaks up the feta cheese for our salads so that i don't have to get my fingers all goopy.

... he adjusts the car seat back to the height i keep it at when he is done driving the car.

... he eats everything and anything that i cook, and tells me how good it is. there is one exception to that though, but that was more of an experiment on my part to see if there was something in this world that he won't eat.

... he packs me a lunch every morning with more food then i can eat. unlike the nothing i pack for myself, and then it never occurs to me to eat until i'm all shaky.

... he is patient with me on sunday mornings when i spend at least 20 minutes standing in the closet trying to figure out what to wear. especially when i ask for his help, but end up shutting down all of his options.

... then when i am finally dressed and ready to go, he tells me how beautiful i am.


while dennis has been away i have been keeping a mental list of all the things that he does for me that show just how much he loves me, and that i wouldn't have otherwise taken much notice to without him here.

being away from each other is always hard, but there is something sweet about coming back together that makes it all worth it.

and in the end, i wouldn't have had it any other way.

***

one week down, another one to go.

vay-kay

this past week dennis and i joined my parents on a little trip out to fairmont, bc.

we had a lot of fun while we were there despite the rainy weather. it was a great opportunity for den and i to be together without the stress of school/ finals hanging over us, and to get some quality time together before he leaves for another 2 weeks.

thanks mom and dad for letting us tag along with you!

1

tuesday at 12:00pm dennis finished his last exam of this school year.

he yelled at the top of his lungs "i'm freeeeeee!".

i took a deep breath, and let all the stress of the last 8 months melt off my shoulders.

and now, we can relax.

well, for a little bit.

1 year people, that is all that we have left. 1 year. 

how did this happen. here i was, bopping along my merry little way, waking up, going to work, leaving dennis alone as he studied, and bam like a giant slap in the face.

i'm definitely not complaining that's for sure. this whole putting a husband through a full undergrad degree has been challenging to say the least.

but the elusive "they" always say there is a light at the end of every tunnel, and by golly i think we are finally starting to see the glow of daylight at the end of ours.

1 more year

that is what i will be reminding myself i'm sure at least once a day for the next 12 months.
 

my other problem is

a few weeks, actually more like months, i basically complained about the problems that comes with being vertically challenged. remember that?

well here is the thing... i have recently been feeling the affects of another little problem of mine.

but first, the back story

growing up my family moved a lot, and i mean a lot. if we ever made it to the two year mark in one home that was a big deal, big enough that we would have received a "life tile" had our life been the giant board game. now these weren't like great life changing moves, we were always able to attend the same schools, maintain the same friends, even play at the same parks. it was more just a change of scenery, except for that one time we literally moved next door, everything looked pretty much the same that go around. have you ever carried the fridge from your old kitchen to your new one? ya me neither, but i watched my dad and brother do it. but a piano on the other hand, that i have moved.

other then these little moves every other year, there have really only been two biggys. the move to nova scotia, and then the move back from nova scotia.
***
here is a little fun fact about me/cassie, we lived in nova scotia exactly 4 years to the day, we flew away june 29, 2003, and back june 29, 2007. cool hey?

***
anyway, change eventually just became the norm for me, to the point that if things around me are the same for too long i would start to get a little itch for something different. and that itch was usually able to be scratched fairly easily by just rearranging my room, painting a wall, making new bedding, those kind of things.

you always hear about people who are scared/apprehensive when it comes to change, well i am literally the exactly opposite, i need change in my life.

now fast forward to my current problem...

it is coming up to that two year mark of living in the same place, and let me tell you i am starting to feel that familiar itch creeping back up, and it is even start to make me a bit twitchy. last weekend i even came close to having a minor psychotic episode in front of dennis, he being someone who has lived in the same house as long he can remember just doesn't really get it.

normally around this time i would be getting ready to pull out all of the packing boxes and stuffing all my clothes into garbage bags, but we aren't going to be moving anytime soon, nor do i want to, i love where we live. and it's not like i can run out and get some paint to revamp my apartment's walls, because i don't own the place. the rooms are much too small to be able to rearrange it any other way then it already is, plus i would need dennis' help to move furniture, but let's just say he is very content with the way things currently are. and if i am going to be sewing anything any time soon, trust me it isn't going to be new bedding. it is certainly time consuming, to say the least, to take on a project of that magnitude. and i'm just not that willing to invest all my spare time into something that i know in a few months i will just end up changing anyway.

and so this is my current state...

and if this doesn't sound like a problem, then i don't know what is.

the day i became a real adult

when i walked up to the counter and proclaimed i wanted to get in on this costco business, i fully expected the extremely pregnant lady to look me up and down, give me the confused look that i get sometimes, as if to say "i'm sorry, but how old are you?" 

but lo and behold there wasn't a single quizzical look to be had. so either she is just too pregnant to have a correct sense of reality, or maybe, just maybe i really am old enough to be considered an adult, and be allowed to become a "gold star member" of anything. 

so last saturday i woke up a 22 year old girl.

but i went to bed a 22 year old women. 

funny though... i woke up a girl again. maybe it takes a few shopping trips to make it stick.