Saturday, April 6, 2013

"it's ok"

 let's be honest here. this whole becoming mom stuff is hard. physically, mentally, emotionally (oh hormones) and all different kinds of other words that end in "ally".

i do feel like i am starting to come out of that newness phase, where i had no idea what the heck i was doing, and at times all i really needed was someone to sit beside me while a just cried. and boy, did i ever cry.

it was in the depths of what i refer to as my "episode" that i stumbled upon words that felt like they were written for me at the exact moment. they touched me, and allowed me to take a deep breath and know that it isn't just me. if anything i have entered this whole other realm full of other women just living or at times surviving one day to the next, not knowing exactly what we are doing, but doing it none the less.

her words, thoughts and feelings have encouraged me, and i would like to pass them on with the hope that maybe they will encourage another at a time when they might need it most as well.

"in those moments where you are beat by 3:30 in the day but the day is hours away from over and you aren’t sure you’ll make it to dinner time…. in those moments where you might feel alone or anxious or overwhelmed with this big job of motherhood, where you sometimes don’t have any idea what you are doing yet you are trying your best…in those moments where others, whether some place online behind a screen of anonymity or even straight to your face at a grocery store tell you you aren’t doing it well enough and criticize your parenting choices without thinking twice about what they are typing or saying as they turn every parenting issue into a battle…  just know that you are doing a wonderful job. you are doing your best. and your best is good enough. if your kids go to bed after 9:30 instead of 7, it’s ok. if you let your baby crawl around on his hands and knees of a museum floor, that’s ok too. if your baby is still breastfeeding past two or was formula fed since birth, co-sleeping with you or sleeping in a crib, wearing cloth or disposable diapers….at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks about it.
what matters is that after you researched all your options, you have decided what is best for you and your family, and that you are doing your best. you love your little family (most days!) and they love you back (…. most days!). what matters is that you are making the most out of your life together and enjoying it as best you can.
it’s ok to cry. it’s ok to have bad days, too. and it’s ok if the way you’re choosing to do it isn’t the way another would.  i’d like to think i have pretty thick skin (putting anything out here on this thing called the internet has sure toughened it a bit). but  thick skin or not, we are all human. and there are days where it is difficult to put on a tough face and carry on.  but not all of us are judgy and critical. so don’t let ‘those people’ get you down. no one has this thing figured out perfectly. and we are all in this together."
by the lovely naomi davis at: love taza